Command: my inner rebel
By popular demand, this is part 3 of a 5-part series unpacking my Top 5 CliftonStrengths. I am a certified Clifton StrengthsFinder Coach, specializing in managers and leaders - whether that’s an individual leader, a team leader, a community leader, or an executive leader.
Interested in CliftonStrengths? Click here. Interested in how my coaching practice can help uncover and aim your strengths? Let's talk!
Command - what does it mean?
“People exceptionally talented in the Command theme have presence. They can take control of a situation and make decisions.
Those with Command as a Top 5 Strength bring decisiveness and emotional clarity. They have the ability to bring to light what is often avoided or unstated. They do not shy away from confrontation.” - Gallup CliftonStrengths
What does it mean to me?
Have you ever left a meeting or a conversation and thought how much was unsaid, fake, inconsistent, unclear? Where no one made a decision? I simply go bananas if that happens!
The word that always comes to mind for Command is BOLDNESS. It's about bringing decisiveness and clarity to ambiguous or contentious situations. Getting to an answer, a decision, or a path forward sets my mind at ease, so I am often the one to speak up and ensure alignment is *really* there. It’s a theme that has strong ties to leadership qualities.
It’s more uncomfortable for me to stay silent than to talk. My Command helps me speak up candidly without fear and advance the conversation if something is out of whack or unclear. It's me taking control of the microphone and saying "ok people, is this thing on?!"
“It’s more uncomfortable for me to stay silent than to talk.”
What people get wrong about Command is that they take confidence to mean impoliteness or being demanding or dominating. Yes, I admit I’ve ruffled a few feathers in my years of trying to manage my own Command. However, the important thing about my Command is that I am fully aware I don’t have the answers. It’s not about being right - rather, it’s about saying the unsaid - speaking up when others are silent. People look to me to be assertive, to start the tough conversations, and to be a leader in order to bring clarity to the group.
I do it because I care so deeply. I am opinionated because I care about the outcome, and I care about the discussion that pushed thinking and action. Indifference or passivity is foreign to me. I am passionate!
How does it show up in my life?
I find my Command theme going all the way back to my childhood. I grew up in a very counter-culture community of music, art, politics. I challenged cultural and societal norms, rejected the mainstream, and was at odds with many authority figures. I enjoyed the debate, the confrontation, the confidence, and - yes, I admit - the intimidation factor that came along with it. In my youth, I found my presence and confidence refreshing amongst the self-consciousness of so many of my peers.
Over the years, Command has consistently shown up in my work roles as well as my personal roles. As a program manager, a team lead, an independent consultant, an enablement lead… and also as a partner in relationships, a sister, and a friend: when everyone else may be passive or fearful, I take charge and am direct. I feel restless if things are left unsaid so I often take the reigns to get to that alignment point. I assert my point of view and I invite others to get involved in the decision making.
One way I’ve managed my Command in both work and personal life is to flip it on its head - instead of telling people what I think, I ask a LOT of questions. It’s not uncommon for me to ask “why exactly are we doing this?” or “I’m not clear on our next steps, can we get those nailed down?” or “what’s really bothering you?” The confrontation doesn’t bother me - in fact, the lack of confrontation makes me more uncomfortable.
I’ve had a love/hate relationship with my Command, but once I realized how others appreciate and rely on my Command, I’ve owned it and aimed it a lot better. Partnering with people high in Empathy, Positivity, or Woo helps balance my Command and has resulted in some really great collaborations.
Do you have Command in your TOP 5? How does it show up for you?
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photo credit @greendub via Twenty20.
