Relator: my inner caretaker
By popular demand, this is part 5 of a 5-part series unpacking my Top 5 CliftonStrengths. I am a certified Clifton StrengthsFinder Coach, specializing in managers and leaders - whether that’s an individual leader, a team leader, a community leader, or an executive leader.
Interested in CliftonStrengths? Interested in how my coaching practice can help uncover and aim your strengths? Let's talk!
Relator - what does it mean?
“People exceptionally talented in the Relator theme enjoy close relationships with others. They find deep satisfaction in working hard with friends to achieve a goal."
Those with Relator as a Top 5 Strength form solid, genuine, and mutually rewarding relationships. They can relate to all kinds of people, but crave 'authenticity with few' over 'acquaintances with many'. - Gallup CliftonStrengths
What does it mean to me?
As a child, and even into my teenage and college years, I tended to be a bit of a loner. I had a few very close friends with whom I trusted and formed deep bonds. With those close friends, I offered generosity, trust, and a friendly intimacy that may have not been the norm in the young social cliques of the more popular crowd. My Relator theme shows loud and clear when I reflect on those younger times.
The word that always comes to mind for Relator is AUTHENTICITY. Its about quality, not quantity, of relationships with me. Unsurprisingly, I let my caring show loud and clear with those that are close with me. When I connect deeply with a person, it is usually a meaningful relationship for life. I am much more interested in the character and personality of others than in their status or title. It’s a theme that has strong ties to leadership qualities of trust and to some extent, influence.
“I am much more interested in the character and personality of others than in their status or title. It’s a theme that has strong ties to leadership qualities of trust and to some extent, influence. ”
What people get wrong about Relator (besides the fact they think it says “realtor” - nope, not into real estate!) is that I may come across as closed off or have favorites or an “inner circle”. In fact, I love meeting new people and learning about them, I just have a pretty decent dose of social anxiety when meeting new people without knowing what we can connect and relate to each other on. Once that foundation is set, my discomfort goes away pretty darn quickly.
How does it show up in my life?
I thrive in small groups or 1:1 partnerships in which I can develop these deep, authentic relationships. In my career, I’ve always loved being part of smaller businesses in which I know everyone’s name, in which I work in small teams, and in which I can develop meaningful relationships and accomplish goals with people I care deeply about. When I worked at a small start up and we were acquired by a large 30,000 person firm, I admittedly felt totally lost and alone. I had a hard time connecting with people at first, both in and out of the office. With my Relator strength (often paired with my Individualization strength) I’ve learned that I am happy and productive when I get 1:1 time with individuals on my teams.
The term “trusted advisor” gets thrown around a lot these days, but it is a perfect characteristic for those with a Relator theme in their Top 5. Trust and loyalty are my fuel. It’s in the nurturing of relationships with my transparent Relator theme that gives me joy and meaning in my life.
Do you have Individualization in your TOP 5? How does it show up for you?
Want to know what this Top 5 Strengths stuff is all about? Let's uncover yours.
//
photo credit @kevin-delvecchio from Upsplash.
